A Chef’s Journey: Mariya Moore-Russell’s Path to Culinary Freedom

Photo credit: Margo Popio

It’s 6:30 p.m. on a rainy January evening in Irving Park, Chicago, and Chef Mariya Moore-Russell, 35, is plating appetizers for an intimate crowd at her pop-up restaurant, Connie’s Underground, named after her late aunt. Unlike the hurried, anxious, and self-righteous plating seen on television kitchens, there is laughter, patient instruction and a quiet confidence that comes only from a Black woman who has mastered her craft, carefully curated her inner circle, and chosen herself.

Chef Russell is a star with a star. In September 2019, she was celebrated as the first Black woman to earn a MICHELIN Star in the United States as Chef de Cuisine at Kikkō, a Japanese omakase restaurant in Chicago’s West Loop. At the same time, she was also Chef de Cuisine at Kumiko, a sister restaurant. Most culinary geniuses never reach this level of excellence, and some die trying. In an industry where restaurants closing after one year is the industry standard, Chef Russell, at age 30, had given her all to earn a star for a restaurant that had only been open for four months.

In line with what is known about Black women’s experiences in the workplace, Chef Russell was seen as exceptional and able to excel despite the workload of running two restaurants simultaneously—work that would typically require at least three more sets of hands. But behind the scenes, she was breaking under the pressure of perfectionism and was “in the weeds.” Although she expressed her need for more support, she was taught from a young age not to complain. Her requests for more staff were ignored, prompting her to make a bold decision. She gave the owners of Kikkō a generous one-year notice, prioritizing her mental health to leave and become the master of her own destiny.

Table Setting at Connie’s Underground.
Photo credit: Natasha Moustache

“I dealt with a lot of things that I definitely shouldn’t have dealt with, and I was extremely overworked. That was something I had to unlearn,” she reflects.

Now, five years later, her new project, Connie’s Underground, described as a liberatory supper club and cultural celebration, marks an important step in her career journey. Russell is a world-class chef and a woman focused on rest, growth and building a culinary experience that embodies the love that fueled her upbringing.

“All of my values are at the core of this project. Everything that I have learned, everything that I’ve chosen, you know, is here, and it is such fulfilling work because of that,” she explains.

Today, she is reimagining the culture, setting aside the notion of hierarchy in the kitchen as we know it; focusing on community, intention, and filling the void of support that had been absent for most of her career.

“Being an imposter in my own body, all of these things that I moved away from, a lot of things that just don’t serve who I am and who I’m becoming. With Connie’s, shedding these ways and showing up in a way that is transparent and genuine, feeling and loving.”

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Photo credit: Nastaha Moustache

Chef Russell believes love is at the core of creativity, and her peace is the foundation of the kind of success she now seeks in her life.

“I am trying my best to bring in that very intentional loving humanity into the space. So, if things aren’t exactly how they should be, I am showing up in a way that understands this. I have learned to relinquish control and come from a place of care and love and respect, human connection,” she shares.

This is what she always wanted.

When she started in the business, her goal was not a MICHELIN Star but something more wholesome.

“I wanted to make really delicious food that looked really nice. I’ve always been drawn to things that are more simplistic, and I feel like that’s a big reason I got into Japanese food,” she recalls.

The fare at Connie’s is carefully cultivated and beautifully made with sustainable ingredients that are killed humanely. She works with vendors who share the same vision of kindness in every facet of the culinary process, and while she has received funding and support for the pop-ups, she is currently financially supporting her dream.

A 2023 Harvard Business Review study found that 61% of Black women self-fund their startups. Chef Russell is open to partnering with investors who will embrace her new approach to the industry, keeping in mind her desire to remain in the Midwest close to family and the legacy she’s built.

In the meantime, she is the happiest she’s ever been. She can be found relaxing with a dirty Beefeater martini, listening to Beyoncé’s “Desert Eagle,” working on new dishes, and enjoying her success. Chef Russell has a résumé that will be etched in the history books, with more experiences to add—once a MICHELIN Star chef, always a MICHELIN Star chef.

Contribute to Connie’s Underground: https://www.gofundme.com/f/connies-underground-supper-club

Featured photo credit (top): Margo Popio

Felicia Ann Rose Enuha: Trill and Self-Aware

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Not a day goes by that Felicia Ann Rose Enuha, speaker, comedian and host of Trill MBA Show, a career management podcast for Black Women, isn’t looking for the answers to questions that plague Black women in the workplace: “Why am I being passed up for promotions?” “Is there a safe work environment for Black women?” “Should I get another degree?” “My Boss doesn’t like me; how do I fix it?”

Through her podcast, she tries to answer these kinds of questions by interviewing Black women and letting them share their experiences – without judgement – to work thorugh common issues. Stories told on her show provide listeners with examples of failures, hurts, triumphs and ways to pivot into new careers, so they know they aren’t alone on their respective career paths. She has one-on-one sessions, where Enuha counsels corporate clients and helps them devise strategies for success.

“My whole message for Black women is a message of: how do we survive and thrive in these spaces, but hold onto as much peace, as much truth and as much freedom for ourselves as we can?”

With a slight Texas accent, she tells her listeners and clients that the key to thriving in these cubicle streets lies within. Once they understand themselves, they will also become more aware of others.

“You need to craft a strategy based on who you are, based on how you want to show your truth, and based on who this company is and what their expectation is of somebody who looks like you.”

Most of the Black women she speaks with are struggling in some form or fashion, but there are definitely success stories of those who are able to build a clear pathway to success brick-by-brick without the need for human resources, Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and an attorney on standby.

Enuha says the key to this success is self-awareness.

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“Every human being has to hold themselves accountable to be truly self-aware in every sense of the word. So, situationally self-aware, internally self-aware, externally self-aware.”

She takes it a step further: “There are personality types who very strongly can’t check themselves. That’s why you get an Elon Musk. That’s why you get a Jeff Bezos. They are doing all these things to feel important when the reality is there is no such thing as human importance. We’re all important.”

This concept was something she struggled with early in her career, and she knew that if she desired success, she needed to change.

“It was driven by having to deal with other human beings and not understanding why I perceived myself one way, but then I would get this forced feedback, because it’s the workplace, and they are telling me who I am.”

She was trying to assert herself as a leader and felt the need to put on a certain persona. In those moments, she was unaware of how she was being experienced and perceived. After receiving feedback that she had a “strong personality”, she realized that while she thought she was coming across as a competent and strategic leader, she wasn’t managing the perceptions of those whose thoughts mattered the most. She wasn’t self-aware and she didn’t have a plan.

She cautions that many Black women are mostly focused on the work and not on relationships, more importantly, heeding the clues and hints that a manager, business partner or co-worker is upset. Once they notice there is an issue, Enuha says it’s often too late to fix the problem.

“Many don’t know what to look for, don’t know the signs. Your work is impeccable, but there’s that, ‘she’s (manager) not happy’, but everyone else around you is giving you so much good feedback about your work.”

In these instances, there could be something that the manager is upset about unbeknownst to the employee who may ignore the signs that something is wrong.

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“I want us to get radically confrontational about when your Spidey senses kick up. It’s typically something we ignore. We tell ourselves, ‘No, that doesn’t make sense, I’m being paranoid’. But when your Spidey senses kick in, and you feel like you got three data points that are subtle: your boss is canceling one-on-ones, or your boss is starting to email you more when she used to pick up the phone or what your boss said on the phone is different from what she emailed.”

These are the instances where Enuha pushes her clients to set up a meeting with their manager and ask questions.  

“That’s our mode for attack. Our mode of attack is through questioning, because you’re not going to see me coming if I’m asking you a question, and I’m going to ask you a question in a way that backs you into a corner. So now you have to agree with what I am saying, even if you don’t really want to, or you have to show your hand and you don’t want to do that.”

She admits that becoming self-aware is work.

“It’s hard because I shouldn’t have to spend any intellectual or emotional energy worried about, ‘Oh I offended somebody, or am I going to offend somebody’ – that’s a lot of energy that cuts into productivity. And the problem with these workplaces is that nobody wants to recognize the emotional labor that is happening, that is taking away from actual work productivity – especially for people of color, specifically for Black women.”

Black women are the reason she wanted to provide these outlets, and why she will continue on this journey.

“I started the podcast because there are people I recognize, and they just want to work. They want to go to work, they want to be rewarded for the work they do and the value they contribute, and they want to go home. And for those people, I want to make sure they have peace in their work life so they’re not bringing home chaos, that they get to live more in their truth, and their authenticity and that they feel free to grow, learn and explore.”

The Kink of Public Humiliation: Workplace Devaluation and Black Women’s Expected Forgiveness

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Gone are the days of Black women turning the other cheek in the workplace after enduring disrespect and abuse. The idea of Black women as bottomless pits of forgiveness is rooted in a white supremacist view of professionalism, according to Leah Goodridge, a nationally renowned attorney, thought leader and writer.  

Many saw the exchange in May between Rep. Jasmine Crockett, D-Texas and Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene, R-Georgia when Greene remarked that Crockett’s “fake eyelashes” were a hindrance to her reading comprehension during a meeting to discuss Merrick Garland. When Greene made her comments, there were no calls by Republicans for her to apologize. Yet when Crockett clapped-back by calling Greene a “bleach-blonde, bad-built, butch body,” Republicans called for her to soften the tone saying she should’ve moved forward and remained silent in the face of Greene’s jealous, “mean-girl” rhetoric with racist undertones with the purpose to publicly humiliate Crokett. Unlike the her republican colleagues, many Black women cheered Crokett’s response.

“The reason Rep. Crokett’s clapback resonated so deeply, especiaoly with Black women is because it marks a cultural moment where we are moving away from this concept of forgiveness.”

Goodridge feels that some white people enjoy being a spectator to Black women’s abuse, a behavior she says is rooted in anti-blackness.

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Leah Goodridge, attorney

“This is like a kink, you know, watching Black women get devalued publicly and publicly shamed, and publicly put in their place. Then it’s another form of a kink for some people when that disrespect happens, and then Black women are expected to forgive.”

Colleagues had an expectation that Crokett ignore the transgression, yet there was no call for Greene to apologize. This happens more often than reported in many workplaces across the country. Most Black women do move on and pretend nothing happened, sometimes as a form of job preservation and often under the guise of being professional.

“We have been taught as a part of white supremacy about what professionalism looks like for us, and it is a very different version than what any white person is held to.”

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Some may find moving forward without standing up for themselves difficult when trying to maintain a level of respectability.

“You may want to respond back in kind, but there’s going to be a voice in your head  that says, ‘Oh, I don’t want to look ratchet, I don’t want to be that person in the meeting’.”

Once the disrespect starts and it’s not corrected, it could begin a cycle of abuse where Black women are disrespected, then expected to constantly let things go.

So how do Black women approach this unwritten rule that they are expected to constantly forgive, sometimes the unforgivable, in the workplace?

“The first thing I want to say to Black women is, number one, give yourself some grace.”

Goodridge says that some Black women may be triggered by the abuse and freeze in response to workplace trauma. Freezing may render them unable to respond in the moment and then afterwards, they beat themselves up. Goodridge believes it’s important to be kind to yourself. 

“Focus on the person who did the action and the fact that what was done to you was wrong.”

She says it can be easier for Black women to give grace to the person who harmed them, instead of themselves – giving them a pass for behavior under the guise that it wasn’t intentional, or they didn’t know the weight of their actions.

“The reality is, a lot of the time, they do know, this is why they do it publicly. It’s a kink, and they do it because they’re aware that we’re unprotected and nothing’s going to happen to them.”

Goodridge suggests professionally calling out the behavior, either in email or in a quick meeting. Afterwards, she suggests moving on with the day – avoid ruminating and telling others what happened.

Another recommendation is to make a note of colleague’s behaviors. Avoid those who gossip, mistreat others – and mark them as ‘unsafe’. Those that are marked unsafe should be handled with a careful distance and with conversation and interactions as the work requires. 

“If that person is not a safe person in the workplace, they are not going to be my workplace BFF.”

Fighting Back: Black Women Battle Against Workplace Bullying

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Necie Edwards, an empowerment and wellness advocate for women, was lying in the emergency room when she finally realized the workplace bullying she endured was causing her severe mental and physical harm. Formerly a manager in medical education for a pharmaceutical company, she is now an advocate for others who suffer autoimmune issues, often brought on by workplace stress.

“I started getting really bad chest pains. Some days it felt like my chest was going to split wide open.”

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Necie Edwards, empowerment and wellness advocate

A high-performing Black woman with stellar performance reviews, after the company she worked for was purchased and her team changed, Edwards recounts being piled with excessive work and excluded from meetings, colleagues making fun of her through instant messages while in her presence and being humiliated by leadership regarding a software program that even upper management struggled to use.  Her work “friends” knew about the abusive treatment Edwards experienced, but they wouldn’t speak out for fear of losing their jobs. They began to isolate from her, which made each day even more unbearable.

Christin Peeples, The Workplace Bullying Coach believes that workplace bullying, especially for Black women is an epidemic. She says that in the beginning, many want to give their abusers the benefit of the doubt, but Peeples advises that we all have an internal GPS that we should listen to when it tells us things are going left.

“Unfortunately, a lot of us, we feel that we can give people that rope, if you will, to be mean to us, but your soul is telling you you’re being mistreated.”

Edwards understands this all too well. As her company continued to ignore her complaints, she went to human resources who blatantly refused to investigate her claims. This prompted Edwards to take matters a step further.

“I got an attorney because I knew the direction it was headed and I made up my mind that I am going to fight this tooth and nail because I’ve always had good reviews, never had an issue and now I’m here.”

Peeples suggests that you may feel like confronting the bullies, but she believes it is best to remain professional and quiet as you document everything, especially when receiving feedback that doesn’t match previous reviews and actual performance. However, once the documentation is solid, depending on the situation and where you are mentally, it can be helpful to professionally attempt to push back on the abuse. 

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Christin Peeples, The Workplace Bullying Coach

Edwards kept solid documentation and after a while, she felt the pressure rising when a white female colleague summoned her in a conference room and began yelling.

“I told her this is the last day you’re going to mess with me. I’m tired of it. I’m sick of ya’ll.”

After this exchange, the white woman began to cry. Later, Edwards’ manager, a white male told her to apologize to the tearful co-worker. She refused.

Another trip to the emergency room after paramedics were called to her office for a stress-induced attack and Edwards was placed on medical leave. During her medical leave, they continued to harass her, at one point cutting off her medical benefits and disability pay. Edwards decided that playing nice was getting her nowhere, so she threatened to be a whistle-blower for issues regarding an upcoming drug the company was set to release and for the health issues they were causing her due to their toxic environment.

“At that point, what did I have to lose?”

Miraculously, all of her benefits were restored, and her check was sent via FedEx.

Nae’ Clark, licensed cosmetologist and founder of NL Beauty Academy in Michigan was a hair extension specialist with a successful business before deciding to go to cosmetology school to expand her craft and obtain her license.

“I wanted to step outside the box. I wanted to take a step further, I wanted to learn more.”

She says the bullying she experienced from the white women in cosmetology school took the fun out of learning. Clark says despite receiving 100 percent on all tests, the instructor would constantly pull her to the side in an intimidating manner threatening that Clark would not pass the course, citing tardiness as the reason. This was puzzling to Clark because she’d already received approval to arrive late on specific days.

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Nae’ Clark, founder NL Beauty Academy

“My son wears cochlear implants, so every Tuesday, I would have to take him to speech therapy, and then drop him off to school. Sometimes I would be late, and they knew this in advance.”

Several incidents occurred where instructors made racist comments about “textured” (Black) hair not being the preference for models because they “don’t do a lot of that hair”. 

Clark never told anyone about these incidents. She kept her head down and finished the program on time.

Her performance was so stellar that once Clark graduated, the school invited her to return as an instructor. She put the negativity behind her and looked forward to a new role. She was excited to teach others about her passion, but the enthusiasm was short-lived. She soon found herself in a hostile work environment ripe with bullying and racism from co-workers and management. When she would confront the issues, she was called aggressive, gaslit and ignored.

“They think we are always looking for race problems, but I don’t even want to think about that, I just want to come like everybody else and learn.”

Management retaliated and her colleagues followed their lead. 

“It’ll be days I would walk in, and our lead, my boss, she wouldn’t even speak to me.”

It wasn’t until she fought back and contacted human resources, that the harassment toned down. However, the bullies continued to say Clark was the issue and would not take ownership of their toxic behavior.

Peeples says that gaslighting is the biggest complaint she receives from her clients.

“At the end of the day, it’s people telling them what they are feeling is wrong, and I want people to understand that gaslighting is a real thing.”

Although Clark and others were more qualified, a white woman was made the lead for textured hair without minimal experience working with Black hair. Another sign that the culture was not going to improve.

“No matter what you do, no matter how talented you are, they will not accept you. They do not want you to be great. They do not want you to outshine them.”

An incident where Black people were referred to as “those people” in front of a client, pushed Clark to send more formal correspondence to HR and the CEO of the company because complaints to management were laid to the side. Clark noticed that when Black clients came in, their hair wasn’t given the same attention nor the high-level service given to others.

“Every time I went up to her to report something or I would tell them, you know, just how mean and rude they were to me on the floor, nothing. Nothing started happening until I started writing HR and going to HR.”

Clark says she is traumatized and has had to start therapy for the daily taunts she endures but will continue to advocate for herself. The treatment she receives in the workplace takes it’s toll, but she she remains confident in her abilities.

“I know who I am, I respect the company. I am thinking they would be happy to have me, but they weren’t.”

Black Women Planning for Retirement

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Black women are retiring into poverty and finding themselves with many questions about how to plan for their financial future. We spoke with three financial advisors to help us navigate common retirement questions.

When should you start planning for retirement?

“The best time to start planning for retirement is as early as possible,” says Rahel Cook, assistant vice president at U.S. Bank Private Wealth Management. “By the time you’re in your 40s, you should have a clearer picture of your financial situation.”

Dr. Dana Palma, financial advisor at Edward Jones, believes there is no ideal age and that a first job as a teenager can be the start of retirement planning or, at any adult age, if planning was delayed.

Both suggest taking advantage of retirement accounts like 401(k)s and IRAs, regularly assessing retirement goals and making any needed adjustments with the help of an experienced and trusted advisor.

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Rahel Cook, assistant vice president at U.S. Bank Private Wealth Management

How much money do you need for retirement?

Shemira Fermon, regional leader at Primerica Financial Services, says you need at least $2 million to retire with basic financial security.

“You’ve got to factor in inflation, but $2 million is still going to be minimum wage in 20-30 years from now. If you plan to live in the United States, understand that is going to be the equivalent of middle income.”

Fermon believes Black women should be open to moving outside the U.S. to live their retirement dreams with greater financial security.

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Shemira Fermon, regional leader at Primerica Financial Services @thelifeofshemira

How do you save for retirement with a low income?

For those on a tight budget, Palma suggests starting with two percent or the minimum contribution to a company 401(k) and increasing it by one percent every six months or whenever possible.

“Even if you are still living paycheck to paycheck, make sure your employer is matching because if they are matching and you’re not putting any money in, you’re leaving money on the table.”

She says creating new habits of regularly putting money aside for the future is important.

How can planning for retirement be different for Black women?

Planning for retirement for Black women can come with unique challenges and considerations compared to other demographics, explains Cook.

Studies show that Black women earn less than their white counterparts and Black men, which can make budgeting and saving a greater priority.  

“Black women may need to prepare for a longer retirement period. This requires careful budgeting and investment strategies to ensure that savings last throughout their lifetime.”

Cook says it’s crucial for Black women to approach retirement planning with a tailored and proactive strategy.

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Dr. Dana Palma, financial advisor at Edward Jones

What are common retirement vehicles that Black women can consider?

“The most common and sought-after retirement income includes a mix of savings, 401(k), IRAs, a business or home,” says Cook. “For many Black women, several of these streams of income may not be an option in their retirement strategies.”

Palma understands that Black women may not be able to rely on generational wealth or inheritance but can use insurance to lessen the financial burdens of future generations. 

“If you at least have a life insurance policy, then that’s one way to make sure you are bringing money over and your child(ren) will have some money – that’s another way of creating generational wealth.”

Cook suggests that Black women maximize the streams of income they can access and work with an advisor to assess risk tolerance and find the right mix of stocks, bonds and cash. Other options to explore may be Money Market accounts and Certificates of Deposits (CDs).

Palma recommends a Health Savings Account (HSA), a type of personal savings account that can be used to pay various healthcare costs. Those with an employer should check to see if they are offered.

“The greatest thing about an HSA plan is if you keep putting money in there and wait until age 65, that is another retirement savings account.”

How can an advisor help?

All experts advise having a single point of contact to assess current financial status goals and devise a tailored plan based on needs and vision for retirement.

How to retire in your 40s

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In 2021, Angelia McKinney, then age 43, “pulled the plug” on her job, retiring after being a human resource professional for 20 years. After eight years of planning, she could finally retire early and live life on her terms.

“I started speaking it out loud that I was going to retire early, way before I ever believed it. Then I started putting this plan together, and basically, I lived off half my income or less, quit making debt, paid off all my bad debt and started investing.”

Her investments were a mix of stocks, a 401(k), a few Roth IRAs and stock trading. She also brought in extra money by investing in real estate properties with her best friend and a few of her own.

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Angelia McKenney, content creator @YoungSavvyRetiree

“My tenants are literally paying the majority of my mortgage, which allows me not to work full time.”

Being at home has given her the opportunity to spend more time with her son.

“I love being at home. I love being able to cook at Noon. I love being able to go to the grocery store in the morning. I love making all of his events.”

While she’s not a certified financial planner, she is now a content creator sharing her journey and helping others plan for early retirement. She says there are three things you must do to retire early.

Change your mindset

“If your mindset hasn’t changed to say, ‘money is a tool, and I am not scared of it’, then none of the rest will work.” She tells her followers to start being better managers of money and learn to budget.

Honor God with your money

“Ever since I started honoring God with my money and being a giver in general, I have not had financial lack.”

Put a plan together

“Figure out where you are now and where you want to be in one year, five years, ten years or however you want to do it.”

Another piece of advice McKenney shares, and one she did not plan for is ensuring you calculate inflation into your financial needs.

“I’m like, ‘Dang Lord, things are expensive!’”

Breaking Financial Barriers for Black Women Through Communication

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Among Black households, 31 percent are led by a Black woman, according to Pew Research. As the head of household, Black women are responsible for investing in their family’s future and planning for retirement. However, some find themselves ill-equipped for this task. Experts say the first step in breaking generational financial barriers is through conversation.

Dr. Dana Palma, a financial advisor with Edward Jones, believes financial literacy is key for Black families. She says it’s never too early or late to begin talking about money and retirement. One obstacle she feels Black women face is that money is often a taboo subject amongst Black families.

“For our generation, we were never taught about finances. It’s not something that was ever discussed around the dinner table.”

Palma changed that when she became a mother and started teaching her son, now 18, about financial literacy from a young age.

“At age seven, I talked about stocks, and he actually started investing at age seven, and we kind of make that part of our discussions.”

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Dr. Dana Palma, financial advisor with Edward Jones

When he began working at age 16, he opened a Roth IRA. They chose this vehicle instead of a traditional savings account because it’s tax-free money and, unlike a 401(k) that can’t start until age 21, this allowed him to save for his retirement and future big purchases, such as a property when he is a first-time home buyer.

Shemira Fermon, a regional leader at Primerica Financial Services, also recommends Roth IRAs to her clients, especially those who are self-employed. Although she advises others about their retirement, she wasn’t always financially literate or prepared. A trip to the store at age 20 changed her life and her ideas about finances after a chance meeting with a stranger in the aisle who happened to be in the insurance business. They met formally, and not only did she leave with a life insurance policy, but also a retirement strategy and a new career.

“I had a retirement plan with my job, but I’d moved from one job to another, and I really didn’t understand it, so she helped me understand it.”

She realized that part of a successful retirement strategy and a key component to creating generational wealth involved a solid life insurance policy. However, it was her experience that money was not a discussion point in her family or friend circle.

Her neighborhood reflected the silence around money and planning with no financial advisory offices unlike more affluent areas. This realization motivated her to get an insurance license and learn about investments so she could help her community.

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Shemira Fermon, regional leader at Primerica Financial Services @thelifeofshemira

“It just became a passion. I started talking to people I knew because we need to start having these discussions.”

She found some had life insurance policies, but they were predatory in nature or had exclusions or fine print that weren’t explained at the start of the policy.

Fermon recommends going over every policy, no matter how old, with a professional advisor or the insurance company to ensure the coverage is clear. 

“I have a 20-year-old client who had a Gerber policy that her mom had on her since she was a kid. She went to pull money out of it, and they told her she could take out $1,200.”  Fermon went over the policy and found that after 15 years, the policy was only worth $2,000.

Many Black women are trying to invest in themselves and their families’ futures, but need help understanding what vehicles work best for them. In her experience, Fermon explains that Black women are more prepared for retirement than Black men.

“Typically speaking, Black women are used to doing everything. They’re working, they’re paying the bills, so they know what money is left and what’s not left. “

Are Your Clothes Keeping You From the Career You Want?

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Seven seconds. That’s all the time needed for the average person to assess your personal brand, according to Dawn Thibodeaux, branding and mindset coach.

“Now, whether they are right or wrong, the package that you’re showing up with is what they are going to see.”

Her philosophy and book, “The Power of Clothing & Personal Packaging”, centers around a trifecta: once you change your mind and clothes, you change your life. Thibodeaux says she sees Black women being victims to clothing, which negatively impacts their work performance and keeps them from promotions.

“They’re getting dressed thinking one thing—that what they’re wearing is sending a particular message when, unfortunately, it’s not.” 

Thibodeaux finds that some women think their co-workers are envious of their style or clothing choices when, in reality, they are being mocked.

“There’s a balance. So, while you want to be who you are, you also want to be aware of the environment that you’re walking into.”

One aspect of Black women’s style she admires is the critical role color plays in wardrobe choices. However, she says it’s important to choose colors that make sense for the environment.

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Dawn Thibodeaux, branding and mindset coach

She believes it is important for Black women to have honest advocates in their lives who tell them the truth about the personal brand they’re projecting. She explains that it’s imperative to know your body type and when certain articles of clothing are appropriate to wear.

“One would say if you went into a construction zone wearing a tutu, I don’t think you’ll be taken seriously.”

Thibodeaux says respect is fundamental for clothing choices in various spaces.

“Respecting yourself in a way that you can bring your personality to that particular event in a way that also respects the people you are going to be interacting with.”

She tells her clients that to achieve the life they want, they should choose the best clothing they can afford, use a tailor to get the right fit and ignore the numbers that correspond with size. She says that once the trifecta is achieved, Black women gain the power and confidence needed to have the life they desire.

“By doing that, then they are changing the dollar signs on their paychecks, and when that happens, that gives them the opportunity to put their children in different schools and ultimately change the legacy of their families.”

Q&A with Ansa Edim, Founder of Blacklist

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Black women face many obstacles in the workplace – from racism and discrimination to stolen wages. These experiences lead to feeling invisible, anxiety, depression and PTSD. What if they had been warned before entering a toxic workplace? Maybe they would have chosen another path. Ansa Edim had a few terrible experiences in organizations where she felt unsafe, prompting her to leave the corporate world and eventually starting Blacklist, a website dedicated to warning others about toxic workplaces. While it is open to all marginalized and protected groups, as a Black woman, Ansa hopes her site will give a voice to the voiceless. We caught up with her to learn more about her career journey and her mission to make workplaces safe and inclusive for everyone.

NOTABLE: What made you decide enough is enough? And we need to have a blacklist about the mistreatment of marginalized people in the workplace?

ANSA: I’ve been in corporate America, in the tech space, for about ten years, going on maybe twelve years. As a Black woman, I started from the bottom and worked my way up. I consistently felt like even if I was hired for a job, my white bosses always made me feel like I was lucky to be there and that I was underqualified. I would keep saying to myself, “I don’t understand. You hired me to do this job, so clearly, I’m qualified enough to be here.”

I had a really bad experience at an organization, Change.org, where I was just surrounded by inept white people. And I just kept saying, “How did they get to this role? This is not fair. It’s just not fair that they, through their connections and resources, have been able to accomplish so much, and I’m begging them for scraps.” So, I left that company after three years. The lawsuit bought me this house.

I told people about Change.org and my experience there being kind of surrounded by people who didn’t really know what they were doing and weren’t handling HR situations professionally. They were letting people manage who were just known bad managers, but they were white people. They were friends. They were just letting people progress and progress, and I was begging for scraps. People were like, “Wait, change is like that? Isn’t that a progressive company?” And I was screaming, “No, it’s actually decidedly not a progressive company!” And, I wished I had a mechanism to warn people, to say, “All these companies you think are going to be these progressive organizations where you are safe are not safe.”

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Ansa Edim, founder of Blacklist @ansa_ _ _ _ _

NOTABLE:  What do you hope to accomplish? I mean, is the mission that Black women are warned or is the mission that these companies will see themselves on here and change?


ANSA:
The mission is that companies will see themselves on Blacklist and that they will be moved to change. I want it to be restorative justice so that people know that speaking up actually did make a difference. So, there are certain criteria that companies can meet to be on the safe jobs list because there are three pillars to Blacklist. There’s the list where there are warnings and experiences no company can ever get off the list because those experiences will always have happened. What they can do is meet certain criteria to become a safe job, and that can be proving that they are an equitable workplace. And then kind of the third pillar is the resources that I want to provide people. I did not know that I had suffered a constructive dismissal until an attorney told me, and I didn’t know how common it was. Companies bank on us being ignorant, and they bank on us being too afraid to act.

And if we can come together as all underrepresented communities, as Black women, as queer people, as people of different ethnicities and abilities, then I think we will be unstoppable, and companies are going to have to step up to the plate as younger generations are taking up more of the workforce and they’re not playing around.

NOTABLE: Do you really think these companies care?

ANSA:Well, the people who did that to me at Change.org made that man the head of HR after I left. It was a slap in the face. And to your point, I don’t think that the people who work at these companies genuinely care to make safe spaces. I think we need to hit them where it hurts. We need to hit their pockets, and we need to hit their recruitment abilities. So as younger studies show that younger generations millennials, Gen Z – I’m a millennial – and Gen Z especially, they’re not working for work’s sake. They will quit a job. They would rather be unemployed or underemployed than work at an organization that doesn’t match their values. So, companies are losing their workforce to gigs to underemployment. As boomers are dying off. Millennials are going to be 75% of the workforce in 2025.

Companies are going to hurt. They’re really going to hurt. And I’m trying to get a jump on that by saying, ‘Look how much revenue you’re going to lose. Look how much churn you’re going to have. Look at the turnover rate. Look at the attrition. Look at all of these numbers that are going to suffer if you don’t address this.’ So, I want to harm their brands enough that they say, ‘okay, even if we don’t mean it, we have to do something’.

NOTABLE:  Is it effective? The people at the companies carrying out the abuse aren’t called out, so they stay with the company or go elsewhere and continue to abuse others.

ANSA:That’s a really good point. And I tried to do that on a Glassdoor review, which is what kind of started to prompt me to build Blacklist. Glassdoor is for the company, and they are trying to legally protect these companies and themselves. And they got to the point where if you look like you’re what they would call bullying, naming specific names, if it looks like you might be identifying someone, they’ll take it down. Blacklist, based on the legalese that I’ve been able to parse, based on my legal recommendations, I don’t have to do that. You can name names and protect yourself. If you’re telling the truth, let that person come and try and fight you over it.

But I want people to feel free to write the truth on other review sites or sites that are somewhat similar. There isn’t anything like Blacklist right now, but on similar sites, on company review sites, I think that people are kind of prompted to be polite and broad strokes, and they can’t really get to the root of “this specific thing happened to me under these people’s watch, and they haven’t changed.” That’s what I want Blacklist to be. I want it to be a space for stories, not just reviews.

Danielle Miller: The Reality of Workplace Drama

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Fighting to be seen is commonplace with Black women in the workplace, who often feel invisible. Many learn that with colleagues, perception is reality, and it can negatively impact the trajectory of your career.  When the office is the city of Orlando on national TV with millions of viewers, navigating the effects of negative perceptions may be less about being seen and more about being understood.

San Diego native Danielle Miller, a 30-year-old entrepreneur and reality TV Star of “Basketball Wives: Orlando”, knows all too well how others’ views in the workplace, especially when they differ from personal truth, may cause you to fight – both literally and figuratively – to protect your story. “Basketball Wives: Orlando” is the No. 1 most watched social reality series on cable in terms of total interactions, according to Yahoo! Finance. Despite the show’s success, since its debut on Oct. 9, Danielle has received sharp criticism from some of her cast-mate colleagues. Labeled a “mean girl”, a term that makes her seethe, she shared on IG Live that she believes the show’s editing deliberately portrays her that way because sensationalism sells.

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Danielle Miller (photo courtesy of Basketball Wives: Orlando)

However, Danielle doesn’t seem to need a gimmick to draw attention. At 5’8’’ with deep dark-brown skin, athletic curves and legs for days, she stands out. On the phone, she is the same as she appears on-screen—direct, funny, confident and endearing. Watching her on the show she’s calculated, determined and a little guarded when she enters a room – a demeanor she may have developed from years of going against some of the best players in college basketball and then overseas.

In 2015, she played professional basketball in the Euroleague system at SIAULIAI-UNIVERSITETAS in Lithuania, where she led her team to score. Previously, as a guard at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas (UNLV), she was known as a top defender in the Mountain West. That label, defender, continues to follow her on “Basketball Wives: Orlando”, where she finds herself in constant battle – verbally and physically – with her cast-mates over her past relationship, office gossip and the honor of her friends. What she sees as guarding her post, others may view as defensive.

While viewers will get to know her from the storyline about a severed 10-year relationship with her ex-fiancé and their tumultuous breakup, when she talks about herself the focus is on personal and professional accomplishments. Outside of her career in basketball, Danielle’s highlight reel shows her master’s degree in criminal justice, her most recent executive positions in the non-profit sector and being a mom to two beautiful kids.

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photo courtesy: Las Vegas Review Journal

“It’s crazy because I was in the delivery room giving birth to my daughter, taking my final to finish my master’s degree. Yes, and he thought I was crazy, but I’m like, I couldn’t not get it done, so I was like, ‘I’ve got to do this.’ It was important for me, while he was playing in the NBA, to always maintain my own career.”

In Minnesota, where her ex is from, she was committed to helping reduce recidivism and was focused on providing criminal offenders a chance to return to their lives with the support they need. A role that came with unique drama and stark realities, but Danielle thrived in that environment.

“I was pretty much helping people become well-rounded individuals and law-abiding in a way that promotes a more healthy and safe Black community.”

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Danielle found her footing, a promising career, a group of friends and meaningful contacts in the fight for justice that helped her grow as a professional and a member of the Minneapolis community. However, when her relationship took a turn, she packed up her children and moved back to the life she knew in San Diego, where she could get the support she needed to heal and rebuild.

According to Danielle, during a relationship counseling session, her then-fiancé revealed that he was no longer interested in a monogamous relationship, saying that lifestyle never appealed to him, and he wanted multiple partners.

This was news to Danielle, who put her WNBA dreams on hold to support his NBA career, had two children and was planning to spend her life with him.

“I was like, I have a choice here, and I am actually going to move back home to San Diego so you can live in this non-monogamous world, and I will live over here.”

Moving away was a hard blow to Danielle, whose parents’ 31-year marriage has always been “relationship goals” and the kind of union she thought they both wanted for themselves and their children. Now, it seems that she was alone in this desire.

She says she was manipulated and gaslit for the past 10 years. She is honest in sharing that their relationship was not perfect, neither was she, but she thought they were working through the normal issues in ‘love and basketball’ and believed they were on the same page in wanting marriage and a family.

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“There’s like this thing where it’s like we’re trying to figure out what relationships look like in this day and age, and what is going to work long-term. Not a lot of us are getting married anymore, and that was like how I was raised. Obviously, I saw a successful marriage; whether it was up or down, they stuck through it.”

In the face of disappointment and a rocky co-parenting relationship, Danielle chose herself and turned heartbreak and single motherhood into a new job in reality TV. When she accepted the role on “Basketball Wives: Orlando”, she saw it as a career move and a platform to promote her upcoming business, Empowered by Danielle. However, right before she moved to Orlando to tape the show, she learned that her ex-fiancé was in a monogamous relationship with another cast-mate, and the job she thought she was hired to do had changed.

The producers were more interested in a love triangle and not a breakup story. It became clear the overlap between she and her new co-worker was juicy enough for its own storyline, causing confusion and hurt for Danielle who never thought she would be in this position.

“How we got to the reality TV of it all, I don’t know.”

A family breakup is difficult to experience in private, and it can be more traumatic when it is the focus of workplace drama. Navigating the loss while dealing with single motherhood and the possibility that your ex has moved on with someone you work with is called good reality TV, but in real life it’s an old fashioned heartbreak, and it is not a pretty picture.

While some viewers may see her as a “bitter baby mama”, Danielle feels she has the right to show her full-range of emotions, something that often carries a penalty for Black women. She wanted the dream, not the drama.

Danielle maintains that most of the drama stems from the shock that he had a girlfriend when he was so opposed to monogamy. She believes he targeted the cast-mate after learning they would be on the same show. All of this new information opened up old wounds just as she was getting to a place of accepting her single status.

“How could he do this?”

She knows that some questions in love will go unanswered. She’s forgiven herself for forgoing her passion, a career in basketball, for the promise of being with the man she loved. When asked what she would tell other Black women faced with the same choice, she says, “Always put yourself first, and always put your career first.”